Pirates

Kovacevic: Hey, about that catcher crisis …

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Francisco Cervelli tags out the Padres' Derek Norris on a throw from Starling Marte. -- GETTY

SAN DIEGO -- "I'm not Russ."

No, he really isn't.

Francisco Cervelli is as slick with the suits as anyone in the Pirates' fold. Born in Venezuela to a native mother and an Italian immigrant father, he couldn't have done better in cherry-picking from the worlds of pageantry and passionate presentation. If Giorgio Armani ever donned the tools of ignorance, the two might well be indistinguishable.

"Dude smells good, too," A.J. Burnett will chime in.

Fine, add a splash of Nina Ricci, as well.

The man's got it all going on.

And yet, the greatest fashion statement he could ever make in Pittsburgh -- other than, of course, a No. 58 block-lettered Steelers jersey tucked into pressed, stonewashed jeans -- would be to head down to the Strip and have one of those sidewalk vendors stamp onto a polyester T-shirt that same phrase up at the top: I'M NOT RUSS!

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