Fast-forward to Thanksgiving. Or Christmas. Or whenever this whole sordid coronavirus episode's seen all the credits roll, thanks to either a cure or enough testing and treatments to manage it.
Sports, I'll humbly submit here, still won't be the same again. At least not in the following 10 facets I'm willing to forecast right now:
• Baseball will keep the DH.
The past half-century has seen Major League Baseball move, laboriously as ever, away from the traditional National/American split and toward a universal league. The single pennant morphed into divisional playoffs. The league presidents were eliminated to enhance an even stronger commissioner. A sprinkling of interleague play opened the door for it to go all summer.
All that's left as distinguishing characteristics, really, are the designated hitter and historic alignments. And both might be blown up with this, as I see it, but the DH for sure.
The most recent visible plan for a 2020 season calls for three 10-team divisions, and this will bring not only a geographic alignment but also the need for a uniform style of play. Oh, I suppose one could adhere to the DH not being used in Pittsburgh and other National League cities, but that would be beyond weird within divisions. Besides, the owners and players need to play nice through all this, with revenue being slashed, and one way to butter up the union is to offer 15 more permanent jobs.
It'll happen. And once it does, it'll stick.
I've never had a horse in this race, but it'll add excitement in that American League games average an additional 0.37 runs, and in a possible speeding up. The latter's been subject to studies, and the impact is negligible -- pitchers' at-bats go very quickly, but fewer theoretical pitching changes might matter more -- but perception often trumps reality, and seeing a starter standing on his mound in the seventh inning because a bat wasn't needed will win lots of hearts and minds.
Throw away that glove, Josh Bell!
• Forget new venues.
The tidal wave that began 25 years ago of sports teams and leagues begging/extorting government entities for new facilities won't be but a splash for a very ... long ... time.
See how the leagues are currently tiptoeing around expanding testing for their participants to return to games? Because they're fearing the public backlash if they look like they're receiving preferential treatment?
OK, now picture the public backlash if this economy plunges into the expected depression, if cities and states are climbing out of unprecedented debt, and some gazillionaire owner shows up at the city council hearing with a hand in the trough.
Uh-uh.
Every team in professional sports except the A's now has an acceptable, modern facility. And even the A's themselves had better plant a shovel in the ground before the Oakland deciders change their minds.
• Forget franchises moving.
See above. No city-vs.-city blackmail means no movement. Not even the Rays to Montreal, blissful as that'd be. Quebec's been hit harder than the rest of Canada.
• Minor leagues will shrivel up.
They won't die, of course, but they'll be reduced beyond recognition. Not this year, not next year, but over time. And though baseball offers the most common conversation here, I'm referring to all minor leagues. Even football, which doesn't have any.
The reason's simple: Cutting costs in the minors was baseball's headfirst goal heading into 2020, and that'll only magnify now that the teams and leagues are legitimately bleeding red. And once two or even three of baseball's levels -- which have forever been bloated, in my view -- have been eliminated, they won't be back. Moreover, the NHL will follow suit, not necessarily with levels -- the only serious one is the AHL -- but by generally paying less or even wiping out the already superficial affiliation with the ECHL. The NFL and NBA mostly leech off the colleges, and that won't change, but any thought that the NFL could create an XFL-style feeder in the spirit of the NBA's G League is now DOA, and that might befall the G League, as well.
I learned from sports teams' execs long ago that the first place to cut, from a purely business standpoint, is with the minors. That landscape's about to be razed, and it'll only begin with baseball.
• Schedules will tighten.
This one's near to my heart, as someone who has to tail three teams across the continent: Scheduling has to be significantly adjusted during this period -- even the NFL had to whack the London and Mexico City games yesterday -- and that'll require the NHL and MLB to get crafty, not just with divisions and venues but also with the frequency of games in one place.
If the Pirates really must face a single opponent nine or 10 times in the same venue in the same year -- that's how it goes within the Central -- why not play a six-game series here or in Milwaukee, Chicago, Cincinnati or St. Louis? For that matter, why not condense those six games into four days with a couple of doubleheaders, the way they're weighing now? The money savings would be huge, but so would the wear and tear of the athletes.
That's quite the win-win.
Worried about seeing the Brewers one too many days?
Deal.
• More cameras/mics everywhere.
NFL Films pioneered hearing voices on the football field, the NHL has color commentators squeezed between the benches, MLB casually plants a headset on a non-participant in the dugout during games, and there've already been countless other examples.
But nothing like what's about to come.
Particularly with the NHL and MLB, since they'll definitely open in empty venues, the TV broadcasts will have to work double-time not only to mitigate the standard foul language that takes place -- 'He said what, Bobby?' -- but also to make the best use of the equally standard fun dialogue to be found.
Such as ...
"It gets real at Heinz Field!" @Bud_Dupree was mic'd up during our Week 13 win over the Browns! ? pic.twitter.com/pBrQoUF19z
— Pittsburgh Steelers (@steelers) April 16, 2020
Mic'd up for Game 1 of the 2016 Stanley Cup Final: Sidney Crosby and Coach Sullivan. Take a listen in ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/ZwoClVlp14
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) April 14, 2020
"I'm mic'd up."
Kevin Newman's coming in hot.
? Watch the full episode: https://t.co/eJg8Mefrhh pic.twitter.com/ADlqjQiF2Q
— Pirates (@Pirates) February 19, 2020
The Bruins' Brad Marchand. - GETTY