Don’t. Just don’t.
Not with this opponent.
This is an opponent that stunk when it had Dak Prescott, the NFL’s leader in passing yards before ripping up his ankle.
This is an opponent that stunk when the fading remnants of Andy Dalton replaced him.
This is an opponent that stunk when Ben DiNucci, the Pine-Richland kid who couldn’t start for Pitt, replaced Dalton and couldn’t connect on a pass longer than his nose.
And oh, my, these Cowboys will stink so very much more with ... hang on, I have to look up their names again ... here they are, Garrett Gilbert or Cooper Rush at quarterback. That was the official word yesterday, by the way, from Mike McCarthy, Dallas' latest underachieving, under-duress head coach. And the choice -- or pending choice -- was made, McCarthy amusingly conceded, because, “With the opponent that we’re playing, we need some more experience at the position.”
To which I'll presume McCarthy invested, oh, five full seconds researching the respective NFL career stats for all three: DiNucci made one terrible start last Sunday in Philadelphia, Gilbert is 2 of 6 for 40 yards, and Rush is 1 of 3 for 2 yards.
I mean, it's neither a stretch nor a cheap shot to suggest the Steelers' No. 4 option for the coming weekend, Duck Hodges, would be infinitely better equipped for the challenge.
So no, please, don't.
Don't waste my time or anyone else's with the standard hooey about trap games or how Mike Tomlin's teams typically play down to inferior opponents. To the latter, here's cold water to the face: Tomlin's career record against teams that finish a season with a losing record is 90-32-1, good for a .736 winning percentage. That's the third-best success rate of any NFL coach during his 13 years in the league, and it's better than Chuck Noll's .725 (137-52) and Bill Cowher's .723 (102-39).
And in case anyone thinks that's not reflective of recent history, Tomlin went 8-1 against sub-.500 teams in 2019 with only Duck and Mason Rudolph at quarterback.
All clear on that one now?
Cool, because in all seriousness, there's a lot to cull from the coming weekend if the Steelers can take the game as seriously as the broader scope:
• Win
• Stay healthy
• Get better
The first two are bland and obvious but probably still merit a mention. It's worth reminding that the path to 7-0 was forged upon initially taking care of business against the Giants, Broncos, Texans and Eagles, who currently are a combined 8-21-1. They'll benefit from the same approach against arguably the worst team they'll face. And hey, the sooner this game's defined, the better. Get Ben Roethlisberger out of there. Get Cam Heyward out of there. A team that's been robbed of its bye could use every break.
It could also stand to improve.
"There are ramifications or consequences from all performances," Tomlin told us Tuesday. "More than anything, it's about how we function and the state that we're in and us doing the things that we need to do to produce victory in spite of the challenges that attrition and the game of football often times presents teams."
Injuries, he meant.
"That's the challenge for us this week. We'd better make sure we're fortifying our depth and doing the things we need to do in terms of the guys who have to rise up."
Couldn't agree more. But, if we're being honest about this perfectly imperfect team, we're looking way beyond the standard-is-the-standard stuff and more toward, you know, January. By my count, the Steelers' only complete showing to date was the 38-7 blowout of the Browns. The two victories that followed were more satisfying, taking out the also-undefeated Titans and, above all, beating the Ravens, but even those two were marked by stark contrasts from one half to the next.
It's easy, arguably lazy, to condense that concern to being simply about consistency. Closer to the truth is that the Steelers have a couple of annoying issues that would, if repaired, contribute toward that consistency.
Want a couple examples?
Here's one ...
I'm hardly one to bash Ben, let alone when he's carried the Steelers the way he has coming off a major surgery. That's not the intent.
At the same time ... come on, can't one of these connect occasionally?
Dug up this data: Ben's made 27 throws that traveled 20-plus yards in the air. He's completed a grand total of six of those, with half of those coming in the one game vs. Houston's below-average secondary.
That might be fine for other quarterbacks and, for all we know, it'll wind up fine for the 38-year-old version of Ben. But I doubt it. It's still in his blood. You can see it with the attempts, and you can hear it in the frustration when the subject's broached. And beyond that, he and the Steelers won't be making the most of Chase Claypool's skills -- not to mention James Washington's -- if they can't stretch the field and open up more space underneath for Diontae Johnson and JuJu Smith-Schuster.
"Offensively, I don't think we're playing to the potential that we should be," Ben spoke Wednesday in a general sense. "And I think that's encouraging, one, that we can rely on our defense and, two, that we can when we aren't playing our best. If we were playing our best football right now, then I'd be a little more concerned. But I feel -- and I think a lot of guys on our offense feel -- that we can still keep getting better. We want to get better."
He then seemed to catch himself.
"That starts with me. I need to play better football."
Maybe he won't go full gunslinger in Texas. But maybe it'd be a fine time to fire off a few shots.
Here's another ...
Ugh to Isaiah Buggs there, huh?
"I kind of figured they were watching me in the second half," Buggs would concede to us Thursday. And by that, he meant the Ravens' game plan began picking on him once he replaced Tyson Alualu. "They saw I was going up the field."
At which point he, Heyward and Stephon Tuitt discussed how he'd stay back. He'd play the Alualu role, and they'd go up the field.
"I got off to a slow start. And Coach Tomlin stressed that you've always got to be ready to make an impact right away."
Small wonder Tomlin fumed about Buggs' showing after the game, even though he'd add a little late splash.
Look, the Steelers are stout against the run. Ask Saquon Barkley. Ask Kareem Hunt. Ask Derrick Henry, the best of them all. And if that still isn't good enough, see that they're ranked No. 5 in the NFL in run defense, averaging 96.9 yards allowed per game.
But ... wow, that 265-yard stampede in Baltimore had better still sting. The Ravens were without their top running back and two starting offensive linemen and, even with Lamar Jackson semi-contained to 65 yards, the two remaining runnings backs -- J.K. Dobbin and Gus Edwards -- combined for 200 of their own.
It was a gashing. It was, even within the outcome, embarrassing.
Heyward blamed "gap integrity," and the clip above certainly wouldn't counter that.
"We've just gotta be patient with our defense," Cam told us Wednesday, and yeah, his leg's fine. "Sometimes, when things aren't going right or as well as we want, we tend to get impatient and sacrifice our gap integrity or our alignments, like 'I've gotta make a play' or 'I've gotta do this.' It doesn't need to be that way. We just each have to do our jobs."
Believe it or not, this is an ideal week to set that straight.
When Tomlin was asked Tuesday how he'd get ready for whoever the Cowboys start at quarterback, he cleverly replied, "Either way, we're getting ready for Ezekiel Elliott."
That's wise. Elliott hasn't been at his peak, and his five fumbles have been killers. But neither has he been dragged down into Dallas' malaise, averaging 65.1 yards per game, not far from James Conner's 71.1, on 132 attempts, fourth-most in the NFL.
“He’s one of the best in the business," Tomlin added, "and I’d imagine common sense tells you he’ll be a central figure in any plan.”
A potential test, too.
One last one ...
Nah, never mind. I was about to pontificate about all those maddening third-down passes that fall into canyon-sized holes in heart of the Steelers' secondary, beginning with Carson Wentz poking away at those. But the Cowboys haven't got anyone capable of doing likewise, so that'll have to wait until Joe Burrow the following week. As will a lot of other fare.
One gets the point.
"First thing for us is we've got to stay humble," JuJu was saying Wednesday. "A couple years ago, we went out to Oakland and we lost that game to a team that was 1-6 or something."
Close. The Raiders were 2-10 but still pulled off the 24-21 upset Dec. 9, 2018. The Steelers fell a W shy of the playoffs three weeks later.
"I respect the Cowboys," he continued. "I know they don't have their quarterback, but you never know. My concern with the Cowboys is that they get the opportunity to beat an undefeated team."
He shook his head.
"Man, just stay humble. Get to Texas. Get the job done."
Seriously.