Picture being one of the fastest skaters on the planet.
Next, picture being unable to perform that act for a full month because of a fractured foot.
Next, picture whatever must've been bouncing within Kasperi Kapanen's brain as he blurred between the blue lines, then buzzed by New Jersey's backpedaling defense for this beauty:
That ... doesn't do it justice. It just doesn't.
Trust me, please, that from the press box perch at PPG Paints Arena, the sheer speed below was breathtaking. And that the sequence's conclusion was every bit as predictable as the Penguins' 5-1 flattening of the Devils that followed on this Thursday night. Because it was borderline inconceivable, as I recall thinking in the moment, that anyone approaching an attacking zone with that much kinetic moxie was about to be denied.
Hang on, let's try another angle:
Nope. That doesn't do it, either.
But hey, at least this one offers more footage of Kapanen revving it back in full anticipation of the rush he hoped to make, complete with the deft drop from Zach Aston-Reese, the pristine-bullet pass from Teddy Blueger to Kapanen at center red. And as an added bonus, it more painfully illustrates New Jersey defenseman Jonas Siegenthaler's plight in attempting to ... what was he attempting there, anyway?
Well, if those visuals won't suffice, maybe this one will:
I appreciate that he took my question in the spirit intended. Because when I asked how that felt, I sure wasn't referring to the scoring the third of his team's five goals. I was asking, you know, how that felt.
"Yeah, it felt pretty good, I'm not gonna lie," he replied. "I kinda saw the play developing, and Reeser and Teddy made a great play to give it to me with speed. And the D-man was kind of standing still there, and I thought I'd try to take it wide, then try that quick shot, five-hole ... and it worked."
Same with so, so much of what these Penguins pull off offensively, it seems.
Get this: Since Evgeni Malkin was hurt March 16, the Penguins are 12-4-2 and, within that, have scored 70 goals, third-most in the NHL in that span behind the Rangers' 78 and the Avalanche's 72. And within those 70 goals, a remarkable 39 have come on what were categorized as high-danger scoring chances, most in the NHL. And within those chances, the Penguins' shooting percentage of 26.0 also ranks atop the NHL.
Now sure, there've been some Devils and Sabres mixed in there, but there also were outputs of five-plus goals against the Bruins, Islanders and Rangers. This hasn't been some anomaly.
And if seeking any common thread, I keep coming back to the same simple thing: These guys are fast.
See, there are generally two ways to generate high-danger chances in hockey: Be big and territorial in front, or be fast and create rushes.
Take a wild guess which one fits here.
Hockey's analytics are light-years behind their sporting counterparts. If Kapanen were in the NFL, for example, I'd be able to share how fast he was actually traveling on that goal. And if this were the info-intricate world baseball, I'd undoubtedly be able share how the Penguins rate vs. the rest of the league in odd-man rushes. But neither of those is available yet -- Gary Bettman will get around to it right around the time Tom Wilson's given a meaningful suspension -- so it's up to the old naked eye to serve up evidence.
So, here's this:
And this:
And I could easily splice together all 39 of those high-danger goals with a healthy amount looking a whole lot like those. Because that's what this team does: The players go flying up ice, seizing each chance to break free, then pounce with all that skill.
Jim Rutherford built this roster, of course. But I still thought it'd be fair to ask after this game if Mike Sullivan, who wanted so very much to infuse speed, to what degree this group's faster than the one from 2019-20. And I was careful to amend the question to consider if all of his players are healthy.
"Well, I think our team speed is one of our greatest strengths," he began. "But not just physical foot-speed."
I thought I'd love where he was about to go next -- check out the two goals I just showed above -- and he didn't disappoint.
"Team speed can manifest itself in so many ways. Your ability to think the game quickly, changing the point of attack, passing with puck support, and things of that nature. We have some guys who have a high hockey IQ to help us there. Sid plays extremely fast. Jake plays extremely fast, even though Jake might not have dynamic foot-speed."
To interject again, he's clearly not referring to Sidney Crosby or Jake Guentzel in a straight-line sprint. Or skating at all, necessarily. Rather, he's citing the speed with which they make decisions and, in turn, move the puck. As every hockey coach at every level preaches, "The puck skates faster than you." So when the Devils' Jack Hughes carelessly hands Crosby the puck from the power-play point, Guentzel and Rust both go into rocket-launch mode seemingly before the turnover's complete.
Thumb back up and look again. It's like they're synchronized.
"And then, when you surround those types of players with ones who have that physical foot-speed, I think it just makes us even faster," Sullivan continued. "You know, Kappy's one of those guys. Tans is one of those guys."
Brandon Tanev.
"Rusty's one of those guys, too. We have speed throughout our lineup. On every forward line and on our defense corps. Mike Matheson helps us there. John Marino helps us there. Tanger and Dumo are great skaters, as well."
Kris Letang. Brian Dumoulin.
"I just think our team speed is an important aspect of our identity. It helps us play to our strengths."
He then finished strong.
"When we get everybody in the lineup, I think we can skate as well as any team in the league."
Anyone care to argue?
Again, high marks to Rutherford. This was his mission over the past offseason, and he aced it. But I'll reserve some credit for Sullivan. He's never stopped being passionate about speed and, from what I understand, he's pushed hard to have it. Including now under new management. And further credit to Ron Hextall and Brian Burke, in this context, for not only leaving well enough alone but also in adding speed via their only two acquisitions to date in Jeff Carter and reserve defenseman Mark Friedman.
I can't know if this team strength has penetrated with the broader public yet, but I suspect it hasn't. The lingering perception, as I gather, is that this is still some aging team that'd have a hard time keeping up with certain opponents. Maybe because Crosby, Malkin and Letang are in their 30s. Maybe because they looked so plodding early in this regular season. Maybe just because perceptions aren't quick to change.
But this is all as real as that poor D-man's skidmarks in Kapanen's wake.