In addition to being generally awful at their jobs, the people running the NHL also are hyper-sensitive to criticism.
That's one volatile mix right there. Endless vicious circle.
One official from the Department of Player Safety a couple years ago popped off on Twitter at ordinary fans, once even singling out Pittsburgh fans as "whining" more than those in other cities. I won't name him here since he's since been public about an ongoing battle with clinical depression -- a richly commendable decision, and I mean that from the heart -- but the feeling at the time was that he was describing the consensus within the department, so I'm comfortable mentioning this in context. He clearly wasn't the only one who felt that way about the Penguins' fans.
Now, add to that legacy this hilarious-if-it-weren't-real six-minute video issued by the Department late Monday night:
Before tapping that play button, please pause for full appreciation of the video's title: 'DOPS on unavoidable head contact.'
Remember that culture I was describing in the column from Washington in which the NHL's disciplinary people have long leaned toward sympathy for the aggressor rather than the victim?
Well, there you have it in one tidy title. It's not about avoiding head contact, which might make for a productive use of their cinematic skills. It's not about stressing the burden being on the player making the hit rather than the one absorbing it, even if it comes from behind.
No, this gem is about, you know, all those times in sport and life when head contact is just plain old unavoidable.
'Oops! Hit someone's head, and I didn't mean to! Man, where could I possibly go to learn more about this experience?'
What's the point of this exercise?
See above. These guys hate being criticized, and they really, really hate being criticized by Pittsburgh, whether it's fans, media, whatever. That's all this is about.
It's introduced as being this random educational piece based on 'four recent hits' ...
The Department of Player Safety analyzes four recent hits to explain how we determine if head contact is avoidable or unavoidable under the Illegal Check to the Head rule. https://t.co/v3yNXJZXMq
— NHL Player Safety (@NHLPlayerSafety) May 1, 2018
... but only three of them are recent. The fourth rewinds all the way back to March 1 to show — coincidence! — Patric Hornqvist leveling the Bruins' Charlie McAvoy when the latter lowered his head right into Hornqvist's path. Hornqvist wasn't suspended for the hit, even though the head was the principal point of contact for that reason.
After inserting some other recent hit to keep up the ruse, they finally get to the point:
"On April 29, Capitals forward Tom Wilson was involved in a collision with Penguins defenseman Brian Dumoulin."
Hoo-boy! 'Involved in a collision!' Get the popcorn!
"On this play," the nameless narrator continues, "while Dumoulin's head is the main point of contact, the head contact here is unavoidable under Rule 48.1, Subsection 3, due to the sudden stopping and turning movement by Dumoulin."
Dumoulin's fault!
"Dumoulin is skating up ice with Wilson in close pursuit. When he sees Capitals forward Alexander Ovechkin approaching, Dumoulin attempts to stop and turn away from that hit. In doing so, he opens his shoulders back to the corner."
Oh, no, they're not going to ...
"And turns his head directly into Wilson's shoulder."
Oh, yeah, they did. They really did.
"While Wilson may brace as he senses oncoming contact ... "
Brace? You mean visibly raising his shoulder into the head?
" ... he does not initiate a hit that picks the head as the main point of contact. The contact here is due to the sudden movement of Dumoulin."
I stopped it there. That was enough.
There's so much wrong with all of this that I sure don't need to point out the obvious for anyone.
But I'll add that the Department of Player Safety, after suspending Wilson twice for preseason checks in 2017, additionally has kept close contact with him, including a conversation just before these playoffs so he could gain clarity as to what he could and couldn't do. Call that proactive if you want, but to me, that's getting too cozy with the habitual aggressor as opposed to simply punishing him and relying on that as a deterrent.
This was now Wilson's second hugely debatable hit of these playoffs alone. He hasn't been suspended or fined for either.
Why, because there's some underlying understanding in place?
So these guys, having been annihilated for 24-plus hours by Pittsburghers over this completely botched call, decide that issuing the standard blanket statement wasn't enough. But since they don't want to set any precedent of catering to whiny Pittsburghers, they waste a lot of company dollars on this pointless video to elaborate on their ruling while using a Hornqvist check from two months ago as a parallel.
Best sport. Worst league.™
• Nothing changes until the epic concussion lawsuit to come, one that should name Gary Bettman, Bill Daly, Colin Campbell, Brian Burke and anyone else involved with this garbage at the Department of Player Safety:
That's got nothing to do with Pittsburgh, the Penguins or Dumoulin, by the way. I made similar calls for punishment of Matt Cooke in his time. This is about the health and well-being of hockey players now and in the future.
You know, their safety.
• Let Wilson get his advice from his agent.
• Phil Kessel will be tremendous in Game 3.
Hey, if anyone's up to talk actual hockey, I'm there, and I've got a feeling we'll all be talking about No. 81 after this one. That's been his pattern since coming here. He'll find a bit of a rut, a few people will dare to begin criticizing our city's reigning folk hero ... and he'll start popping goals.
Remember where you read it.
• There's nothing wrong with the power play that Phil, properly bearing down, can't fix. It all runs through him.
• If all of Mike Sullivan's 'game-time decisions' go favorably tonight, Evgeni Malkin should be flanked again by Kessel and Carl Hagelin. If Hagelin can't play — and he's the iffier one — then there's no choice but to keep Dominik Simon there. Not if Sully's maintaining penalty-killing alignments.
• Anytime the rough stuff enters a series, there are immediate, vocal cries for retaliation, even instigation. I'm not immune. I was brought up in an era where that was the rule, not the exception.
But not now.
These Capitals aren't nearly as rugged as those of the past two springs, and the teeth they showed in Game 2 saw referees Chris Rooney and Gord Dwyer likely work their way out of any future playoff paychecks. To boot, the home crowd, a potential factor in this series for the first time, can not only push the Penguins but also influence officiating.
I asked Jamie Oleksiak, if Game 3 were to turn nasty, would his side be braced for that sort of thing?
"I mean, we can play any which way," came the diplomatic reply. "But our game is our game."
Skating, he meant. They're the faster team. They're the more skilled team. Trying something else would be senselessly forfeiting those advantages.
• The clown show apparently is well underway in Raleigh, where new, bombastic owner Thomas Dundon has utterly embarrassed himself with his treatment of Ron Francis, culminating yesterday with Francis' firing.
The good news from the Pittsburgh perspective: The Hurricanes are doomed to remain a Metro doormat. Show me a meddling, big-mouth owner, and I'll show you last place.
The bad news: Francis deserves so much better. He's the embodiment of class.
• Other good news: Lots and lots of folks here, notably Jim Rutherford, wouldn't mind having him around here.
• We having fun yet? This is all fun, right?
