"Literally the worst feeling ever."
I'd just asked JuJu Smith-Schuster how hard it was to take, the way that game wound up and ... well my question went on, but he didn't wait to hear the rest. Now, as with the flickering frames before he fumbled away the Steelers' 26-23 overtime loss to the Ravens on this Sunday afternoon at Heinz Field, he'd anticipated what was coming.
Only this time he acted upon it right away. While it was still in his control:
"Aw, I feel terrible, man," he began before I ended. "It was literally the worst feeling ever. Knowing that you have the game go into overtime, knowing that you have the ball, knowing that ... Marlon Humphrey, that's what he does. He made a great play in a great situation, and he came through for his team."
I tried a follow-up, albeit one with the most obvious conceivable answer: Is there anything he could have done differently to avoid the fumble?
"I mean, just protect the ball. Squeeze it harder."
Yeah. Squeeze it harder.
____________________
Look, the list of stuff to hate from this seismic downer of a day was so long it'd take hours to manually push a medical cart across it.
I hated, as I'm sure we all did, Mason Rudolph getting knocked out cold by Earl Thomas' helmet-to-chin hit. It was sickening. As Alejandro Villanueva explained of why he instantly began leaping in a panic toward the sideline for assistance -- and this is a guy who's seen some things -- "His eyes were open, and he was just laying there." Here's hoping the good folks at Allegheny General Hospital have him on safe ground, as we began hearing by nightfall.
I hated -- a lot -- that Heinz Field didn't have a working cart, for crying out loud, and that a barely functioning Rudolph had to be propped up to his feet and helped off by B.J. Finney and Zach Banner. If DeMaurice Smith and the NFL Players Association aren't inquiring about it that by Monday morning, they're derelict in duty.
I hated Thomas not being ejected by the NFL. When the next CTE lawsuit comes, let this be Exhibit A. Rudolph stands 6 feet 4, Thomas 5 feet 10. That requires a launch, and Thomas completed his hit on his tiptoes. "I hit the strike zone, like we talk about it," Thomas would claim later. "I didn't go high." That's a lie. Watch his feet:
I hated worse that the replay officials in New York, headed by that noted arbiter of fairness, Al Riveron, had the authority to override the field officials and eject Thomas. He didn't.
I hated the early offensive playcalling of Randy Fichtner, particularly the hilarious-if-it-hadn't-happened interception by Jaylen Samuels. Because it's shrewd to go gimmicky against an opponent fresh off two weeks of conceding 73 points and 1,035 yards.
I hated Ramon Foster's blocking. Again. And it might be time for Finney to step ahead.
I hated seeing more dynamic defense -- five more sacks, two more takeaways, including a breathtaking downfield pick by Devin Bush -- wasted. Even if Bud Dupree told me afterward, "Believe me, the best is yet to come from all of us," it's become increasingly hard to see how it'll be relevant.
I hated seeing a throbbing, passionate crowd of 64,037, among the most spirited the place had seen and heard in years -- "It was unbelievable out there," Vince Williams told me, and players on both sides expressed similar sentiments -- not have that chance to complete the re-bonding I'd written about over the weekend.
I hated the overzealous officiating as a whole, but most prominently the ridiculous roughing-the-passer call on Ola Adeniyi for making a Pop Warner form tackle. And that Adeniyi felt compelled to apologize on social media:
Sorry Steeler Nation was just tryna make a play. https://t.co/QaTqogMLci
— Olasunkanmi Adeniyi (@Love_Ola_9) October 6, 2019
I hated seeing a Harbaugh, any Harbaugh anywhere, happy.
Oh, and I also hated seeing the 2019 season come to a crashing halt. Which it did.
Let's face it: As uplifting as a sunny Sunday here would've been for the Steelers -- victory, full health, all that -- the best part was going to be that they'd be 2-3 with a chance, remarkably, at first place pending the outcome of the Browns' Monday night game against the 49ers in Santa Clara, Calif. The 0-3 start would be all but expunged, and the league's second-lightest remaining schedule awaited.
Now, they're 1-4.
One and freaking four.
Even setting the quarterback circumstance aside, the road map to recovery is too much. The AFC North isn't up to standards, to be kind, but this is precisely the kind of game they needed to take to make that map viable. They didn't, and so, it's not.
"It's all about the outcome," as Cam Heyward put it. "All the crap that happens in between, all the breaks we might get, all the breaks we don’t get, that doesn’t matter. I don’t care if it’s pretty or ugly, we just want to win."
And how big a hole is 1-4?
"We'll find out."
Hated it. All of it.
But nothing more than that fumble.
____________________
It can't happen.
I've written that about all three of James Conner's game-costing fumbles the past two seasons, and I'll write it about both of JuJu's game-costing fumbles, with this one now added:
There's no excuse.
Not the throw from Devlin Hodges, which is perfect.
Not the unimaginative route called by Fichtner for a third time on the day, as deftly illustrated by the analytical site Football Outsiders:
FOOTBALL OUTSIDERSNot JuJu having taken advantage of those routes -- and Humphrey's tendency to punch at the ball -- on an earlier, excellent 35-yard touchdown:
Not Humphrey trying a slightly safer approach this time by initially applying one arm toward a tackle. As he'd explain afterward, "This was different. The first time, I just went for the strip. This time, it was for the strip and that tackle. With a strong runner like JuJu, he's not gonna go down easy. I definitely went for the tackle first."
None of it brings down the burden on the ball-carrier to remain, you know, the ball-carrier.
"My plan was being able to stiff-arm him and being able to get upfield," JuJu further elaborated. "The whole game, he'd been doing that. He'd been punching at the ball. He just came through and made a big play."
How big?
The Steelers had just taken the ball at their 32 following a bold but successful gambit by Mike Tomlin to defer on the overtime kickoff. He didn't want Hodges, the undrafted rookie out of Nowhere University, to have to march 85 or so yards. So he challenged his defense to stuff Lamar Jackson and get the ball back, which they did gallantly.
"We needed to be at our best, and we feel like we were," Dupree told me, not mentioning his own drive-killing sack.
So Hodges brings the offense back onto the field, barking in the huddle -- "The guy really took charge right away," David DeCastro would share -- then hangs in the pocket to ensure he hits JuJu in stride.
And then ...
Tomlin found his own way to cite the fumble, opening his press conference thusly: "Not enough playmaking on our part. You also have to tip your cap to the Ravens. They made the necessary plays, particularly Humphrey. That's a big-time play he made in overtime, punching that ball out."
____________________
Hating this day is one thing. Losing hope for the future is another.
Sure, the defense has ample youth, with Bush, Minkah Fitzpatrick and Terrell Edmunds, and T.J. Watt, the best on that side of the ball, is only 24. There's promise. But there also are hugely important players in their 30s in Heyward, Joe Haden and others. It's not as if it's some specific age group growing together.
The offense is another subject entirely. And no, for once, this isn't about quarterback.
Rudolph will be back, and he'll be better than he's had a chance to be yet. It's awfully ironic that the play upon which he was hurt also was maybe his most ambitious, most athletic yet, a smooth, scrambling strike for a first down. And Ben Roethlisberger's made clear he'll be back, too, in 2020. However that plays out, it'll be a position of strength.
But running back and wide receiver, the other two essentials?
Step back -- no drop back -- in time with me for a spell:
Sept. 9, 2018, Cleveland: Conner fumbles at the Pittsburgh 18 with 7:44 left in the fourth quarter. The Browns return it to the 2, then score. The game ends in a 21-21 tie that, even though it was the opener, would prove fatal toward making the playoffs.
Nov. 25, 2018, Denver: Conner catches a 23-yard pass on the final play of the third quarter of a tied game, but he fumbles at the end of that run. The Broncos recover and mount an 80-yard touchdown drive to win, 24-17.
Dec. 23, 2018, New Orleans: The Steelers are down three points but rolling into field-goal range when JuJu, following a catch, fumbles at the Saints' 36 with a half-minute to play. Drew Brees takes a knee, and the Saints hang on, 31-28. The season was crushed.
If anyone's forgotten:
Sept. 22, 2019, Santa Clara, Calif.: The Steelers are up on the 49ers by three points with five minutes left. Conner fumbles at the Pittsburgh 24, the home team pounces, then produces the touchdown to prevail, 24-20.
Oct. 6, 2019, Heinz Field: This.
All five of these occurred in the final 15 official minutes of a game. All five came with the Steelers either leading, tied or trailing by no more than three. Four resulted in losses and, in the one case, a terrible tie.
Fumbles aren't fair. Careers can be defined, or even destroyed, by them.
Quick, what's the first word that comes to mind when I mention Fitz Toussaint?
Yep.
But how about Jerome Bettis?
If Roethlisberger doesn't make that shoestring tackle after the Bus bungled at the Indianapolis goal line -- heck, if that dude Ben tackled, Nick Harper, hadn't been stabbed by his wife the same weekend and, thus, slowed a bit -- I'll still insist Bettis doesn't get enshrined in Canton. Without that storybook Super Bowl ending, it certainly would've been tougher.
That's how it works in the world of football, where there are so few games and so many big moments that every mistake is magnified. And there's no bigger mistake, per the sport's culture, than the fumble. Not at any level. It's why high school coaches often have their running backs carry a ball around all week — even to class, even to bed.
Fair or not, Conner's now a fumbler. JuJu's a fumbler.
And that's not all: Both have regressed year over year.
These are Conner's game-by-game rushing totals for 2019: 21, 33, 43, 42 and 55. There are unusual circumstances within, but there's no running back for whom that figure isn't the bottom line. His longest run's been 21 yards. He's got two touchdowns, including a plunge Sunday. His 194 rushing yards rank 33rd in the 32-team NFL, and his 3.3 per-carry-average ranks 44th among the league's 50 running backs with at least 20 carries.
That's bad. Every bit of it. And it's nothing at all reminiscent of the bullish Conner from the first half of 2018 who was leading the league in broken tackles.
JuJu's regressed, too. And while he's attached to even more unusual circumstances -- three quarterbacks in five weeks -- his 24 catches and 333 receiving yards each ranks 23rd in the league. He hasn't topped 84 yards in any game, he's made four total catches of 20-plus yards, and he's got two touchdowns, including the one Sunday.
Expectations might have been excessive for him to instantly replace Antonio Brown and, yet again, there have been challenges. But it wouldn't have been outrageous to expect he'd make himself more available or to break bigger on the YACs like the touchdown Sunday. Especially considering those things weren't happening when Ben was healthy, either.
The fact that Pittsburgh loves both these individuals, naturally, makes them harder to criticize. Conner's arrival at Pitt, his triumphant and visible battle with cancer, and then his ascent to the NFL, combined with his super-serious persona ... it's been movie material. And JuJu's own arrival, with an unprecedented eruption -- for our city -- on the social scene, both online and in person, have raised him to rock-star status.
They're as different as can be, these two, and yet they've reached similar status.
Fans and observers across the Nation will offer opinions about these fumbles in the days ahead. Some will try to attach the personalities, particularly JuJu's, since he's the one who was limited by the toe injury all week in practice but could be seen on Instagram partying with students up at IUP at midweek. I won't go there. If only because I've never seen a sign on the field -- games, practices or drills -- that either lacks commitment to his craft.
At the same time, I won't hold back in stating I'm worried if they're ... it.
They don't need to win every game. They don't need to be significant drivers in every game. But it'd be awesome if they were at least some of the latter and, on top of that, if they weren't almost singularly responsible for losing nearly a quarter of them since the Cleveland tie.
MATT SUNDAY GALLERY
Steelers vs. Ravens, Heinz Field, Oct. 6, 2019 -- MATT SUNDAY / DKPS