COLUMBUS, Ohio — I sat for three hours Sunday afternoon suffering alone. Just the way I like it.
Some fans enjoy the communal experience when watching big sporting events on television. A party, a bar, a few friends coming over to the house. I’m game for all of the above — as long as it doesn’t involve one of my teams. I want to agonize, cheer, shout, sulk and swear in the privacy of my home. Only the four pets and my wife are permitted to see this irrational behavior.
It’s why I declined two invitations to watch the Euro 2020 Final between England and Italy — won by the Azzuri in a penalty shootout — with friends at downtown Columbus bars. I’ve been an English soccer fan for 31 years and the only thing I can figure is I did something dastardly in my previous life to deserve such a fate. The Three Lions are the Cleveland Browns of international sports. Fifty-five years and counting without a major title.
This is not a soccer story, it’s a fan-experience story. There are no right or wrong answers here. Everyone consumes sports differently. When it comes to the three clubs I care about — the New York Rangers, Liverpool F.C., England’s national soccer team — I treat my fandom the way George Thorogood does his alcohol. I prefer to drink alone.
I’ve done it other ways and found nothing but aggravation and misery. I don’t consider myself a rude person, but I hate being around others who aren’t as emotionally invested. Can Steelers, Penguins and Pirates fans relate? I don’t want to talk about anything except what’s on the television screen. I’ve had good friends trying to make conversation at parties and in bars, and I wind up completely ignoring them. We’re talking big games — playoff games, rivalry games — not your average regular-season games.
I’d love to hear all about your kids’ youth league sports, fantasy teams and vacation plans . . . at another time. This happened to me during Game 7 of the 1994 Stanley Cup Eastern Conference Final. My wife had committed us to a dinner date with friends. “We’ll be home before the game starts,” she said. Not only did I watch the first period on a small-screen TV on the other side of the restaurant, but our company came back to our apartment for the rest of the game, which went into double overtime. Had the Rangers lost, there might have been chalk outlines.
Two years ago, I watched the final 30 minutes of a Champions League semifinal, featuring Liverpool, in the parking lot of a funeral home. The father of a good friend had died and I should have been inside for the entirety of the calling hours with the other mourners. It's Larry David-level neurosis and it probably makes me a horrible friend, but, hey, Liverpool ended up winning.
Please tell me some hardcore Steelers and Penguins fans have similar stories.
YOUR TURN: Two-part question. If you’re not at the game, where do you feel most comfortable watching it? And, when taken out of your comfort zone, what is your worst fan experience in dealing with others around you?
